My relationship with her was never been easy (on my side). I knew she loved me very much, i know she did. Tapi pada saat itu, saya lebih sering ngga ngerti dengan cara Mama Diana menyampaikan sayang-nya ke saya. Saya lebih sering protes sampai kadang Andri balik ‘marah’ ke Mama Diana.

Mama Diana, was one of a kind. Super baik dan juga super blak-blak-an ke orang. Disayangi dan juga mungkin -semoga ngga ada lagi- tersakiti hatinya.

I remember how i often get embarrassed karena Mama Diana ‘ngaku2′ saya fans berat Sheilaon7 supaya Mama Diana (yang sebenernya udah kaya ibunya anak2 SO7) bisa masuk ke backstage. Mama diana juga pernah ‘marahin’ saya di depan temen2nya karena salah ngambil jenis garpu buat makan kue. But i know (after days of thinking and embedded positivity in my mind) itu cuma karena dia mau saya keluar dari kamar Andri dan dikenalin ke temen2nya “ini calon mantukuuuu!” hehehe.. Plus, saya juga pernah dimarahin habis2an karena milihin Andri jas bermerk lho.. hihihi.

There were many hard feelings which led to arguments between me and her son, unfortunately.  Even when she’s on her last days, i still (may God forgive me) had a little misunderstanding with her. On her very last moment, i was the one who hold her hands until she’s gone.  Di saat semua orang sedih, Andri nangis, Adit bingung, Papa Dias panik. I was the one who run to find any doctor whom apparently, can’t do much thing about it and pronounce the cause of death later on.

I had to witnessed my husband crying hysterically on his best mate shoulder who came rushing into hospital as quickly as they can. Andri loves his Mom very very much. The fact that he’s loosing so much was a big slap on my face.. and i felt very very very guilty.

Besoknya, waktu Mama diana udah dimandikan dan siap2 ditutup, Bapak2 dari Yayasan Bunga Kamboja bilang, siapa mau ‘bedakin’ Mama Diana supaya ‘cantik & bersih’..

I urge myself to do the task, and that’s when i can’t hold my tears. i cried, i cried like hell until Andri’s family pulled me away from Mama Diana’s body. Mama Diana was always curious and interest with my make up obsessions. Sometimes its kinda annoyed karena udah tanya bolak balik dan diulang2. Later on, i realized itu juga salah satu cara dia menyalurkan kasih sayang ke saya.

Mama Diana, dengan kepribadian unik-nya ternyata punya banyak sekali teman. Meninggal pada Selasa malam, hari Rabu (which is hari kerja) pagi ternyata yang melayat dan menghantarkan Mama Diana ke Jeruk Purut banyak sekali, lebih dari 30 mobil. Belum termasuk yang nunggu di Jeruk Purut.

My biggest regret at that time tentu aja karena belum bisa ngasih cucu, but i know.. sekarang2 ini kadang kalau lihat Zee ketawa2 sendiri sambil lihat ke arah tertentu, gue selalu bilang “Zee main sama Nini ya?” I know she’ll always there to look up to her grandchildren. Protect them from the ‘other sides’.

I’m so sorry for my misbehavior, Mama Diana.. :’)

i missed you, I’ll come again this weekend ya.. :’)

and bring you a lots of flowers…